Bashing Myself

I bashed myself again – internally, bashed my soul. Why can’t I be a “normal” person who likes accounting and hold down an accounting job for years and make a decent living off it until I retire? Why do I have all these worthless hobbies or interests that make a pittance? Why do I have these silly thoughts that I am wasting my life away in an accounting job? There are lots of people who would love to be able to make a stable living. Why am I so ungrateful and uncontent? 

Remembering the Words of My Grandma

Singaporeans males have to enlist and serve the army. It used to be 2.5 years during my time. I believe it’s 2 years now. Assuming you have passed a physical fitness test (comprising of pull-ups, sit-ups, standing board jump, shutter run, 2.4km run and something else which I have forgotten) before being enlisted in the army, you start off with basic military training (BMT) which lasts 2.5 to 3 months. After that you are sent to an army unit, usually for further training.

Within the army, there’s an unit called the music and drama or something like that. This unit include the army’s military bands. It does make sense when you think about it. Bands have graced presidential visits, parades, etc. Anyhow, on one of the Saturdays during my BMT, I was informed that I could go for an audition in “a camp in Orchard” to see whether I’m good enough to join the army’s military band. I was ecstastic that I’m given the wonderful opportunity to be part of the band for the remaining period of my national service.

I reached home from the army camp, told my grandma about the great news, took a shower and left home to catch a cab to get to the “camp in Orchard”. I told the cab driver to head to the camp in Orchard. He was hesitant and needed the specific place. I couldn’t tell him the exact place. He said he wouldn’t know where to go then. I left the cab feeling very upset. There goes my chance of being part of the band! I will be dispatched to an army unit where physical training is demanding and be depressed for the rest of my life!

I reached home and started literally banging away on my piano as a way to cope with my emotions. My grandma asked me what had happened. She said to try again, with another cab driver. She might also have mentioned that there’s an army camp in “Tanglin” which might be the one that I’m looking for. Assured with her words, I caught another cab. This time, the driver was cheery and said that the camp that I have in mind is “Tanglin camp”. He drove me there. I reached the correct venue, went for the audition, impressed the army band director enough with my sight reading skills and the rest is history.

I often think back to the gentle and reassuring words of my grandma. “Try again.”



What is power? What is your power? When I think of power, I think of:

  • the power that someone exerts over another person, especially at work
  • destructive powers
  • “strong” and “hard” powers

But, what about “softer” and gentler powers. For example, the power to heal, the power to inspire. Wait a moment. Let’s explore the definition of power.

According to Merriam Webster, power is defined as (the short and quick version):

  • : the ability or right to control people or things
  • : political control of a country or area
  • : a person or organization that has a lot of control and influence over other people or organizations

See! I am right. It is the ability to control people or things. To direct things towards your outcome. Incidentally, I chanced across the following definition of power in Oxford dictionaries: “The ability or capacity to do something or act in a particular way.”

Now, now, now. That’s a much broader definition of power, isn’t it? “The ability or capacity to do something or act in a particular way.” Based on this, wouldn’t people that are typically seen to be “powerless” as powerful?

An analysis of the anatomy of a marriage proposal

[Note: this post is still a work in progress. It will be revisited at a later date.]

After watching more than 4-5 hours of marriage proposals on youtube, I felt qualified to speak on the various elements of a proposal which includes:

  • Location: at a public place or at home
  • People involved: just the couple or involving others
  • Planned or impromptu (most of the proposals on youtube are planned, which explained why they are captured on video in the first place)
  • The classic kneeing down on a knee or not?
  • The ring (this can be a very hmmm complex topic)

Before popping the all-important question, the proposer may include any one or more of the following (and indeed you can do it any way you like):

  • Spoken or written words. My favourite proposals are those which involved placards.
  • A dance or a few dances. Flash mobs are very popular. They can be engaged professionally apparently.
  • Music – bands, choirs, singing, instrumental
  • Art – painting, wall art, art installation
  • Video
  • Website

I didn’t know that …

I didn’t know that watching marriage proposals (on youtube) can be so addictive. They are heart warming, very often times deeply moving and beautiful moments indeed.

Here’s a selection of the ones that I like best:

For those who are married, how did you propose or got proposed to? For those who are single, how do you intend to propose?

En espanol

No se que los videos de las propuestas de matrimonio en youtube son muy addictivas! Son reconfortantes, muy emotivas, y para mi, son las momentos tan preciosos de la vida.

Hay dos que me encanta mucho:

Los casados, como tu pareja le propuso? Y los que todavia no se casaron, como vas a proponer? La suerte contigo!