I am having a headache now. Had this wild idea to go heaven and leave behind all the suffering. What suffering? A like that’s full of struggles. Real sick.
I think I have made the right decision to go to Roy’s house last night. He was pleasantly surprised to see me when he woke up to see the person trying to get on his bed. It’s a bit scary though, to sneak into his room. The last thing I want to do is to attract the attention of his mum or sister in law. I have to make an effort to visit Roy since a week. It makes him feel loved. I hate the distance and time that it takes to reach his place. In fact, I’m a bit resentful that I have to travel such a long distance.
Pauline and Paul came for a rehearsal today. They sounded terrible. I was thinking whether their playing actually improved under me? I doubt myself and my teaching abilities. I also thought that maybe that myabe the fact that I can’t play any diploma pieces properly lends to them not being able to perform well. To sum it up, I feel terrible.
Kind God, loving God
Disturb Dorothy, Huiling and Huiyi.
For Roy, for the few students God gave me.
Pass diploma exam. Play pieces up to exam standard for Kranji secondary school’s performance. For tai tai to heal.