Feverish Today (published on March 16, 2007)

I felt a deep sense of shame when Richard commented that “This is not the way to do ARPs”. Shame, shame, shame. I felt instantly stupid. How can I be so stupid as not to be able to do ARPs properly and correctly? Which is to say: I am stupid. Fuck.

Had a delightful conversation with the taxi driver just now. She is 41 years old and single. Driving is her moonlighting job. She works in an office in the morning. Presumbly, she has to maintain two jobs to keep up with her loan repayments for her three-room HDB flat unit. She had wanted to rent a one-room flat unit from the government. However, the latter in the name of promotion of the social family unit denied her an accommodation which fits her financial condition. She finished JC year one, after which she attended NAFA, graduated with certification in general fine arts. Working in the commercial sector stresses her excessively, causing her to have migraine. She describes herself as “a rotten salty fish that is unable to flip itself over” in mandarin. It’s supposed to mean that her situation is irreversible. I tried to encourage her, reminding her that pursuing your dreams is no easy task but I want to see her face on the newspapers one day, being known as a cartoonist. She laughed and smiled throughout our conversation. I am happy that I have brought her some temporal happiness and that she’s willing to share her life story with me. I am privileged to share in her problems and struggles. God bless her and that she gets to know you (I saw a Buddhist emblem in her taxi).


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