Thoughts of Myself as a Christian (published on September 18, 2004)

Why am I a Christian?

When I realized God’s great love for everyone

Including my mother

Someone whom I can’t bring myself to love at that period of time

A stranger called God who can love another stranger called my mum

A love so great that God is willing to die and sacrifice his son

For unworthy people

That great capacity of love convinced me that this god must be God.

In my mind, a Christian is someone who changes himself to match the ideals of God

Although it’s a goal and finishing point that none of us can achieve

Also, a Christian puts God first in his life

And everything in his life is viewed in perspective of God,

Everything is labeled a right or wrong in accordance to God’s Word

That he must give up things which are not in the will of his God

Which is made easier by faith and strength from the Holy Spirit

I realized that I have been molding my life to fit the ideals of the World

Which is so comforting and suits my sinful nature

I find it difficult to give up my wants and desires for a God

Who seems like a academic concept to me

“You wouldn’t say that if you have experienced God”

Yes, I admit I have genuinely experienced God a few times

“You haven’t tried placing complete faith and trust in God yet”

This, I admit I haven’t.

For to love God must necessarily displace my love for someone else

And that act isn’t particularly loving of me

“Just do it. To give up yourself means a lot to God and you will be rewarded eternally”

I can’t. I don’t. I wouldn’t. I shouldn’t.

“Go to hell”

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