You can only be friends with someone whom you learn from. Words of MS1. I replied “what do you mean by learn? I don’t consider myself learning from my friends all the time. For instance, when I told you about what I *learned* from the 10 years old Indonesian pianist concert, do you consider that as a learning experience?” and la dee dah. MS1 replied that it’s a matter of semantics. All right.
Light bulb moment. Maybe the reason why MS1 is constantly happy is because MS1 views all experiences as learning experiences, be them good or bad. And learning is inherently a positive thing, no? So what if shit lands on you. If you frame that experience as a lesson in life, to be learnt from, wouldn’t you be happier as you became a wiser person from the experience, whatever they may be?
Let’s see. What have I learnt recently. Mediation from MS1. That it’s intimate. When one mediates, you open your inner self to the surroundings. (Ok. some of the Christian readers will be cautioning me at this point in time. Bah). So when you do mediation in a group, or rather a group of strangers, beware. Some of their energies/vibrations/ frequencies might comingle with yours. And who knows what can possibly happen. All right. I’m going into voodoo science (an oxymoron). But if you think about it, why not? Some people tend to have gut instincts about people. Perhaps, those gut instincts arise from the “energy” from people? I haven’t studied this at all – perhaps thoughts are frequencies, frequencies can translate into energy? For instance, radio waves, electromagnetic waves, heat waves. So why not thought waves?
Anyway, I also learnt that I’m not a great fan of indoor rock climbing. Sure, I had had fun scaling up those walls with holes. But is it something that I love at first climb? No, not really. Versus the swimming lesson that I had on last Monday. I thoroughly enjoyed the lesson. It had such an calming, joyful effect on me after the lesson. I don’t get that from rock climbing. I guess what I am trying to say is that I have learnt that I shouldn’t be apologetic if I don’t like something and more importantly, I should coerce myself into liking that thing unless there is a logical need to and I am aware of why I’m doing so. This was a topic written by the author of the Happiness Project. We are unique human beings who inherently different interests. So, we shouldn’t feel bad if our interests are not mainstream, different from others. For instance, the majority of Australians are crazy about sports – cricket and footie. It’s not natural to me. So the question is: should I *invest* time to develop a passable knowledge of the sports so that I can masquerade as “normal” during conversations. Or more importantly, to be able to talk about these sports in front of VIP – Australian bosses, colleagues, etc so that I am seen as part of the group and be treated more favourably as a result? Well, I might do it… just for the sake of career. But some of you normal ones out there might say, common. don’t be a dick. of course you will enjoy cricket and footie like the rest of us. you look normal. you talk normal (actually, I don’t, based on the topics that I like to talk about. Although I am pretty adept in talking about the weather nowadays). of course you will like sports. if not now, over time. It is strange that people presume or impose what they consider to be normal upon you. Perhaps, for people who hates durian, I am going to tell them that “Hey. Durian are sooo yummy and delicious. What’s wrong with you? Can’t you appreciate how good and wholesome this fruit is? Won’t you spend an hour driving to Geylang just to get some of this heavenly fruit? What’s wrong with you? I love durian, most of us love durian. And yet… you don’t. What’s the problem?”
Likewise for friends. If you don’t hit off with someone. Don’t be too hard on yourself. There’s nothing wrong with you. It’s just that God has create you this way and him/her that way and for some reason, which can possibly be explained by psychology, common sense, the new age stuff, etc, both of you just don’t hit off. But, should you make an effort to improve the relationship? Sure, of course, if there’s a need to, if you have a valid reason to do so. Otherwise, I would probably suggest that you drop it. Why spend your precious time and life on someone with whom it takes an effort to cultivate a relationship? Note that I’m not saying that you should write off people at work, in the community, etc. I am just saying that we are attracted to different people (whether for marriage, friendship, sex, etc), and we shouldn’t be surprised or think badly of ourselves if we don’t clique with others.
To sum up, one’s gold is another’s shit. I love my gold. And please don’t force your gold of shit onto me. Otherwise, for durian hatters, you are getting some durian from me.